Marriage Counseling

My roommate, Kimberly, and I go on walks through the town of San Lucas almost every day. It's a nice way to take a little break for a while, get some exercise (although climbing the hill never seems to get any easier,) and it's a time for us to talk about the day and about what's going on. Since San Lucas is so small, we've walked the same streets over and over again many times. So, to pass the time, we play the Question Game. One person asks a question and then both people have to answer it. Then, it's the other person's turn to ask a question. (Ex. "If you had an hour with the President, what would you want to talk about?") As you can imagine, after weeks of playing this game for several hours at a time, we've touched on all topics: favorite things, life goals, memories, theology, love, the future, likes and dislikes, how we react to different situations, etc.

One day, one of the questions was "Why do you think a majority of marriages fail?" "Lack of good communication," was Kimberly's answer, which I think holds quite a bit of truth. I began thinking about all of the people we communicate with every day: family, friends, children, pets, mailmen, co-workers, complete strangers on the street, the person next to us in line at the grocery store, neighbors, teachers, babysitters, friends online, bosses, etc. The list could go on forever. But, does God ever make it onto our list?

If I never talked to my friends, they would not be called friends, because friendship involves a relationship and a relationship involves communication. If husbands and wives only spoke about the meaningless things that happened during the day and held no real importance, their relationship would also hold no real importance. So, if I don't talk to God, or if I only tell him fluff(that's how my literary teachers used to refer to the pointless sentences that kids put in their papers to fill space,) does that mean I have a relationship with him? No.

It's so easy to get wrapped up in life, work, other relationships, anything, and forget about spending time with my Lord. How can I expect to have a relationship with Him if I don't take the time to talk to Him? Not just when I have a petition, not just when He's done another miracle in my life, but every day, all day.

Sometimes, it's necessary to find a quiet place, alone, so that I can just talk to God. The more I do it, the more natural it becomes. As I spend time praying, it begins to no longer feels like a prayer, but like we're sitting next to each other on the couch, chatting. "Tengo cuello" or "I've got connections." I can talk, anytime I want, to the most powerful, amazing being, and He loves me and wants to listen to what I have to say. Of course, there are days where I feel like I'm talking to the air, or when I struggle to focus, but I've never heard a married couple say that they've been happily married for the past 50 years because they let the struggles of life take over their relationship.

God did not give us the power of prayer to have us never use it. Rather, as Paul said to the Thessalonians, we are to pray WITHOUT CEASING (1 Thesalonians 5: 16-18.) That means all the time-- when I'm tired, well, sick, busy, bored, joyful, brushing my teeth, trudging up the hill, singing in church, teaching math, or cooking dinner.

Pray with me, that as the bride of Christ, we won't let out marriage fail due to a lack of communication. WE are the break in the relationship, WE are the ones with the communication problem. May we rediscover the joy of going to our bridegroom to talk about our day, our fears, our joys, our sorrows and watch our relationship with Him blossom in the process.