Never Say Never

We have lots of sayings in English: "Don't count your chickens before they hatch," "Don't judge a book by it's cover," and "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." (P.S. The last one doesn't work, I tried and yet she continued living in my house-- hi mom!)

Well, I think God has a favorite: "Never say never."

I've recently begun to notice a pattern in my life. Every time I swear that I'll NEVER do something, I eventually end up doing it. For example, when I went on the Mali Music Mission trip through Ward last year and said that I did not, under any circumstances, want to teach a music class, the first day of class they introduced me as the Clarinet teacher. Or, if you'd have told me last year that I'd eat cow hoof, I'd have sworn that that would NEVER happen. Well, you all know how that went...

Then, when I was picking science classes for my freshman year of high school and said that I hated rocks in all shapes and forms and would NEVER study geophysical science again. Well, folks, guess what my fourth grade science class is studying--- yup, rocks. I'm teaching geophysical science. Haha, God, very funny.

Plus, I took chemistry my sophomore year and hated it so much that I abandoned any thought of pursuing medicine because I never wanted to see another chemistry book again. Well, 6th grade science class is studying---CHEMISTRY. Seriously, God?

And last but not least, I promised myself that if I ever taught, I would NEVER teach middle-school kids. They're crazy, I said, I can't handle them. Yes, all the girls in my classes are 8-14 years old, and guess what-- I love working with them.

Moral of the story, God's bigger than me. Never say never.

"Rockabye Baby"

Last weekend, I was asked to be the Tia in the Gold House for the weekend. Although Tia is the word for "aunt," she is the "mother" of the household. She cooks, makes sure chores done, takes care of all the kids in her house, and basically does everything a mom would (break up fights, calm tears, read stories, play, fall asleep exhausted...)

I always adore my opportunities to serve as a Tia because they provide me with 72 hours to get to know the girls better in a particular house. Though, my favorite time came at bedtime...

After spending all day with 8 girls, doing chores, cooking meals, trying to explain why tattling is bad, ignoring the whining (sometimes a communication barrier can be a blessing), and playing games, I was ready for bed.

Everyone brushed their teeth, changed into pajamas, and crawled into bed. Then, I went around to each one and sat with them awhile, talking about their day, praying with them and finally kissing them good night and telling them how much I loved them. The girls on the top bunks were shocked and broke out giggling when I climbed up on top with them to chat for a little while.

The effect was amazing.
Girls that had been cold to me all day suddenly turned all smiles. The little ones felt like someone was taking the chance to listen to them for a while, instead of just tell them what to do. And, Jackeline, a girl who needs lots of positive reinforcement, heard me tell her I loved her, even though we'd had a discussion about the quality of her chores earlier. They gave me HUGE hugs and said "Te Quiero" (I love you) a hundred times.

The next morning and all throughout the day, the girls reminded me of my promise to read them a story that night. Attitudes toward me softened and there was a general atmosphere of love and peace in the house.

That night, when I brought out the book of stories they all went running to their rooms. While I was in reading with the younger girls, the older girls, ages 10-12, came in to make sure that I was coming to their room next.

Later, I heard one of the girls say to Tia Patty, "When I was at home, my parents never tucked me in. They just said 1-2-3, to bed! But when you talk and pray with me at night, I feel loved."

Most often, love is felt in tiny, every day things, rather than in giant gestures.
I believe that God will use our efforts, however small or insignificant they may be, to enrich the lives of others. Maybe my mission here is to read bedtime stories to girls at night, and if that be true, may I never run out of stories to tell.

This is Ridiculous

Dear Lord, I love her. You sure know how to make them.

Just wanted to introduce you all to Belen. This is her typical, "This is Ridiculous" face.

P.S. Lord, her teacher's gonna need a lot of paitence too. Thanks.

Day by Day

WOOPS! I looked at the last date on my blogs...and needless to say, it's been quite a while since the last update!

Most of the girls' school vacation has been spent outside, playing on the trampoline, on the play set, and playing soccer. You'd think after 9 years on a soccer team, I'd be able to aim a ball...not so. (Not to mention that I'm playing against Latinos, who are born with cleats on their feet)

Besides all the fun and games, Kimberly and I took the opportunity to teach English classes to the staff. When we first tried out the idea in a Monday morning meeting to see who would be interested, immediately all hands shot up. So, the next Monday we began the first of bi-weekly English lessons for the Oasis staff.
The classes have turned out to be one of my favorite times of the week. The joy and energy that our students bring to the class is electrifying. It's thrilling to see them energized about learning and putting such effort into it. They are so excited to practice "Pass me the..." at the dinner table, or "Good morning" when I see them in the morning. Although I doubt any of them will reach fluency before I leave, they've provided me with a wonderful 2 hours per week of realizing how blessed I am to have learned English as my first language. (Consider the word "Up": light up, get up, throw up, stay up, turn up, pick up, shut up, etc.)

In reality, the time off from school has been a wonderfully blessing in that I find myself unburdened by classes to prepare/teach and with plenty of free time to spend with the girls. This has allowed me to create relationships with the girls. The girls of the Blue House, for example, are all 15 years old and above and go walking through the surrounding towns every morning at 6 am. I've been accompanying them, not only for the exercise and the chance to get out of The Oasis for a while, but also for the hour and 1/2 that it provides me for interrupted conversation with the girls.
In general, the girls in the Blue House are hardest to reach, mainly due to the fact that they're teenagers. Let's face it, as a teenager myself, we're hard to talk to when we don't want to open up. Yet, as the summer passes, I've seen cracks and breaks in their shells where I've been chipping away piece by piece. Day by day, piece by piece. I have to remember, God does not change me in a day. I learn with each experience. Similarly, with each demonstration of love, discipline (which are one in the same, but they generally don't grasp that), and concern for them and what's going on in their lives, I have faith that God will do amazing works in the lives of these girls. He is molding them into women after His own heart. There's nothing I can do for them on my own, just let myself be used by God in the ways He has planned.

Let the Little Children Come to Me

A few weeks ago, during my first few days here, I attended a teacher's training on sharing your faith with children. Our psychologist at The Oasis, who lead the training, spoke about how the Bible calls us to come to Jesus like little children. Children, she said, have the ability to love endlessly, unaffected by worries, jobs, busy schedules, past heartbreaks, and everything else that we put between our hearts and God.

The girls here are teaching me what it truly means to love like a child. Wendy (4) and Tanya (2) are especially good teachers. Whenever I walk in, they immediately come running to me and jump into my arms to give me hugs and the biggest kisses they can manage. My skin color does not matter. My age, gender, and intelligence mean nothing. Nor does my past, my family, or even the fact that I speak another language. Nothing poses a barrier to their love.

Children, in addition to loving profusely, are dependent on others for their survival. We often pride ourselves on our independence and ability to take care of ourselves. God, however, asks us to give up our independence and trust in His ability to care for us. Although sometimes this can be a rather uncomfortable task, I find that the more I give to God, the more at peace and protected I feel. Never vulnerable; always safe.

The more time I spend with the girls here, the more I learn about how to approach God as a child--as one who loves without prerequisites, willingly accepts love from others, and gives her life over to the only one who can truly take care of her. I challenge you all to approach our Lord and Savior through the eyes of a child. He never disappoints.

"Here I Go Again"

“Here I Go Again”
Casting Crowns

Father, hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that she will hear
And know they're straight from You
I don't know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my friend slowly fade away

Chorus:
So maybe this time
I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear
is tearin' at my words
What am I so afraid of?
'Cause here I go again
Talkin' 'bout the rain
And mullin' over things
that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not her friend
This might be my last chance
to tell her that You love her

But here I go again
Here I go again

Lord, You love her so
You gave Your only Son
If she will just believe
She will never die
But how then will she know
What she has never heard?
Lord she has never seen mirrored in my life

Chorus:

But here I go again
Here I go, here I go

Chorus:

This might be my last chance
To tell her that You love her
This might be my last chance
To tell her that You love her

You love her, You love her
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid of?
How then will she know
What she has never heard?

This song, slightly adapted from the original Casting Crowns version, was playing on Kimberly’s computer earlier this evening. After listening to the lyrics, I felt like the band was right here, singing to me about the girls at The Oasis. My prayer for my time here is that every day I will OOOZE with God’s love. That it will stick to everyone I touch, see, greet, and talk with. That they will be so stuck in it that they would give up trying to run from it.

The lyrics say “This might be my last chance to tell her that You love her.” We have girls constantly in and out of The Oasis, depending on the outcome of their court dates, but regardless of what the courts say, God has not guaranteed me tomorrow to show them His love. It needs to happen TODAY.

Please be with me in prayer that God will shine His light through my life, so bright that no one can ignore it. That the girls will see God’s love through the way that I love them, and that they will want more.

To all my TEACHERS

I am passionate about my girls.

I am passionate about education.

I am passionate about my girls getting an education.

They’re not always so thrilled.

The girls here at The Oasis go to school on-site using a home school program based out of Guatemala City, called Hebron. We bring in 4 teachers, one for grades 1, 2-3, 4-6, and 7-9. We have just started using the Hebron program this year and many of the girls are finding it difficult, because the level of difficulty of the material is much higher than they have ever had to deal with before. Also, it often requires independent study, not facilitated by the teacher—also something they are not used to.

I am excited to see the girls here receiving a higher level of education; however we are fighting an uphill battle. Not a single girl here is ahead or even up to speed in her studies. So many of them started late, some not beginning kindergarten until the age of 8-10, that they missed the formative years where children learn the basics of all learning (letters, numbers, counting, listening, following directions, etc.) We have 10 year olds in kindergarten, 14 year olds in 4th grade.

Also, the method of learning here in Guatemala is far different than that of the States. There’s no push to understand the “why” behind what you’re learning. All is rote memorization--- copy a paragraph and memorize your multiplication tables. As good as memorization is, it does not facilitate the ability to be able to solve problems other than the ones you’ve memorized. For example, they know that 3 x 4=12, but they have not learned that multiplication is addition of the same number to itself (they don’t understand that 3+3+3+3 = 3 x 4). Therefore, whenever they are presented with a new problem, they freeze and don’t know how to begin to work it out. If they understood the concept behind what they are learning, they might be able to work it out, but problem solving is just not taught.

We received the girls’ final exam scores last week. Many failed 3-5 classes, and those who passed are in the minority. So, this week we have 8am-12 tutoring for all girls who will be taking retake exams in just a few weeks. I love to tutor. It has always given me such a thrill to teach someone something new, to see them begin to understand a concept that confused them before. It’s an adrenaline rush. Yet, I struggle with how to fight the education system, their years without study, laziness, and lack of confidence. Often, I find myself regressing to the very basics of what they are studying, to explain the fundamentals of algebra, biology, or European history. Every day I am reminded of how grateful I am to all of my teachers, tutors, and those who took the time to teach me over the past 18 years. They may never know it, but the information they so painstakingly explained to me over and over is now being passed on to beautiful Guatemalan girls. So, THANK YOU, to all of my teachers—all forms—over the past years. You’re words carried farther than you ever expected.